The first time I felt what I call 'dark' energy was when I was about 9 years old.
My father had problems, and was a very disturbed man. When he was home, we hid. Well, for some strange reason, I felt like I didn't want to hide anymore, and went into the livingroom where he was sitting in his chair watching the hockey game.
I walked past him, and sat on the couch, and he was totally silent.
I could not turn my head, or I'd be looking at him, but I could feel him burning a hole in my soul.
The air was as cold as any winter day. I was shaking on the inside and had the worst feeling of total and complete dread. It is a hard to explain feeling, but if there was a devil, I was in his presence, it was that strong.
It took me at least 10 minutes to muster up enough strength to get up and leave the room, and my legs felt like they would not hold me up.
Years later, my husband not knowing my history at the time, happened to meet him during the course of the business day. Rod was a lineman at the time, and my father was an electrical inspector. They had never met before that day. Well, my husband invites him to dinner. He didn't seem so intimidating right off, but when he sat down, I had that same cold air, and horrible shaking on the inside. I could not hold my fork without a great deal of effort.
He left shortly after, and has since died. But, where do people go with that type of energy.
It was, the single worst negative influence that I have ever felt in my life.
I am trying hard with meditation Joey. Much going on in my life right now. I have found that counting, much like before hypnosis, will fade the activity thoughts away, and I can concentrate on what I want to hear. I sleep with my window open, so I hear the wind, and rain, and just sounds of the night. It puts me in such a peaceful place. But, I hesitate, because when i go beyond that, fear overtakes.
I'm getting there.
Tim
_________________ I have absolutely nothing clever to say......but I'm workin' on it.
|